a busy schedule and a little bit of grace... (and actually when i say a little bit, i mean a lot bit)

i've thought that my life is going to get busy... i think i underestimated that... i'm looking at my calendar and i'm getting tired...

here's the deal... i love life right now... i have talked to a couple of friends the last couple of weeks who i haven't talked to in a long time... and in talking with them, i realize how happy i am in my life... there are things that aren't great, don't get me wrong... i wish i had more friends that lived in vancouver... along with other things that i won't mention...

however... i'm so excited about what God is doing... He's got me in a place in ministry that i'm so grateful for... and a great job... and school (the end of it, anyway)... and while those things cause me to be busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin' contest... (name the movie - 500 points) i prefer it to the alternative... which is where i was a year ago... not in a place where i was involved in ministry... not a great job... i did have school and i loved it, then, too... but things are different in my life now...

i guess i had to go through some "junk" to get to this point where i can appreciate how good God is - the grace He gives CONSTANTLY...

i had a different intention when i started this entry... i have an amazing professor for my ethics class for j-term (the class was only 2 days - the rest is online)... i have been really tired from work... it's like i work for 8-10 hours a day and at the end of it, i just can't really think... i want to go home and veg - you know... lay like broccoli... (name the movie - 500 more points) and i have assignments due for class... but they're late... so i need to email him - expecting to get a response that is not so nice... something like this...

"Get them to me as soon as you can. I will have to dock some points as they are late."

you know - something short... to the point... enough to say, "i'm really irritated with you and the fact that you haven't done your assignment, slacker..."

i didn't want to email him - i didn't want to feel that way... i didn't want to get the response i was expecting... i didn't want to feel like i had let someone else down... but i did it anyway - i knew that i had to... so i email him... just a short email briefly explaining an unexpectedly busy week at work and assuring him that i would get them in as soon as i can... here's the response i got...

Hi Robyn,
I am at present in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania for a medical conference, and the Eagles have just won their conference championship. It is bitter cold (-8 degrees F), and the winds are blowing bone cold at 30 mph.
I am so glad that you emailed me!
I actually was just preparing to email you, because I saw that you have visited the site, yet have not contributed to forums nor submitted your midterm. I am glad that you are connected to the class, and I am honored that in spite of the challenges to your time, that you intend to follow through.
Thank you for your follow up. God definetely connects our lives through His Holy Spirit.
I was concerned that perhaps there was an uncommunicated misunderstanding, or alienation through the progress of my lectures.
I very much respect the response of each student with regard to the content of the course, and their own pilgrimmage through the challenges of life's dillematic challenges.
I am more than willing to accomodate your needs, because I worked a full time job and a 50% time job concurrently while attending Fuller Seminary. I am well aware of the limits and I had one professor in particular who allowed me more time in the midst of crushing demands. I do look forward to your paper and your forum responses.
If ever you have special needs for extended time, or have issues you need to clarify with me, then please do communicate your needs or questions with me.
For His Honor,
Professor Smith

not the response i was expecting... and i thought... hmm... grace... it was shown to him and he is willing to extend it... how many times do i fail to show the grace that has been shown to me so readily?

i think i've kind of realized i'm a jerk... and i don't like the way that feels... like i'm so much more important than anyone else... like i deserve special treatment... that everyone is going to like me... it's just not true...

my desire is to not get so caught up in this busy season that i forget to stop... appreciate those who have been gracious... show grace to others who need it... and embrace moments when i realize God is not through with me yet... and maybe He wants me to learn something... maybe He wants more from me than i'm sometimes willing to give...

i have to learn surrender... to not try and be the leader of my own free world... but allow Him to handle it... to work through me... to love on others through my life... amy is good at that... heather is good at that... mary is good at that... i can learn a lot from them...

so for now, i'm letting go (in a different way)... i'm going home... to rest... to be...